Shout Louder For Trans People!
Even after reading about trans and non-binary issues, many people still feel unsure how to show their support.
Guest poster Katie Neeves explains her own experiences of transitioning, and explains positive experiences of allyship she has received in her own journey.
Trans people are learning to have bigger voices these days, so you may already see quite a lot of transgender content on your social media feed. If not, you’re connected to the wrong people!😉 Jokes aside, you know that trans and non-binary people exist (and that we are just ordinary people who want to be happy) but do you know how to be a better ally to us? Here’s how…
Firstly, what is allyship? Allyship is when a person uses their own privilege to help others of less privilege. In my case, it would be a cisgender (non-trans) person speaking out for me, as a trans person, when they felt I was being disadvantaged by my transgender status - especially when I am not there to defend myself. Here are two examples of when I have benefitted from trans allyship. One is personal and the other is professional.
Around six years ago (just after I came out publicly as being a transgender woman), I attended an event where many people knew me. At the end of the evening, I was told about a conversation between two men over the other side of the room. One of them had pointed me out and said to the other, “You see that woman over there? She used to be Martin Neeves.” Martin was my old name. He continued with “I don’t get it, myself”, before talking quite disparagingly about me. Thankfully, the other man had watched many of my transition VLOGs, so he had been educated on the subject. He replied with “Actually, there’s more to it than that…” before going on to educate the first man. I thought that was brilliant and I think it is a perfect example of allyship in action. It would have been so much easier to have said nothing, but he didn’t. He put himself at risk of being made unpopular by standing up for me and I will be forever grateful to him for that.
Before launching Cool2BTrans to deliver trans awareness training, inspirational speaking and presenting, I had always been a professional photographer and my photography business was named after my old male name - Martin Neeves Photography and Film. This caused a problem for me when I changed my name to Katie. I felt I couldn’t change the name of my business as it had been an established brand for 22 years at that point and I had hundreds of glowing reviews which all referred to Martin. The only thing I could do was to come out very openly and honestly as being transgender. I made a coming out video, I sent it to all my clients and I put it on all my social media. Go big, or go home! It was a massive risk, as being self-employed, I wasn’t protected by employment laws. If my clients had a problem with it, my phone would stop ringing and I would lose my income. Although I lost a few clients, most of them stayed with me, thankfully, but one proved to be particularly loyal, The University of Warwick. When I sent out my coming out video, their head of communications became the most amazing ally, as he sent a link to my video to all his colleagues, telling them that the University supports my transition and that they were to continue to use my services. I ended up getting more work from them than I usually would! That’s how to do allyship!
There are many other ways that you can speak out for us. Being such a prominent gobby trans woman, I get loads of hate on social media (as well as by email) and I just love it when cis people go into bat for me. It’s so powerful too, as it shows that trans people really are loved and accepted for who we really are. You can also sign petitions, share social media posts and articles, write to your MP*, attend Trans Prides and protests to show your solidarity for us against the many injustices we face today. You can book inspirational trans speakers and trans inclusion trainers at work and not just during Trans Awareness Week. After all, trans inclusion is for life, not just for Christmas!
There are many more trans allyship tips that I cover in my talks and training sessions, but speaking up for us is the most important one. If you have a voice, please use it. Trans people need to hear your voice now, more than ever.
